Apparently I am definitely not participating in NaBloPoMo this year. Or, y’know, any of the previous few years.
I always swear that I won’t start blog posts with, “Gosh, it’s been a while since I wrote – and here are all the reasons..” but.. umm.. yeah. Life has been busy, across the board, and I’ve been spending a decent chunk of my time writing random facebook updates (because they’re quick and easy and don’t require much effort.)
So. What’s new. Whaaaaaat’s new?
Let’s talk work first and then move on to other things. Feel free to skip the work part if you’re tired of reading/hearing about it.
Work takes up all of my daylight hours and half of my evenings and, usually, a decent chunk of my weekends. I’m pretty sure I wrote something about finding balance and, honestly, I’m doing much better than I was – but all that I’ve really accomplished is an inbox full of emails that I haven’t replied to and a case of anxiety about it. A calendar full of so many commitments that i’m already booking into February. About 90 different projects.
I am trying – so hard – to take time off. I am failing at this, for the most part. There will be some semi-forced time off in December, at least.
Imposter Syndrome is looming large lately. I keep finding myself added to various committees, ‘strategies’, coordinating groups, and other things that seem to be staffed by people far, far more qualified than I am. Maybe? I recently sat on a conference call where, for a solid hour, the discussion was about how to properly declare conflicts of interest, how to complete and sign governmental agreements, and various other procedural things. Listen, I have no conflicts of interest other than my desire to Do All The Things vs Sleep All The Time. But I’ll sign your form anyway. I have no idea how I got to be a part of this whole deal but I’ll show up anyway – at least until someone tells me that a mistake was made… ha.
Completely unrelated – I absolutely love the ‘dark’ theme on youtube these days. Most of my youtube video watching/music listening happens at night and this is just the perfect way for me to fall asleep with my head on my desk.
Middle kid just bought his first vehicle. I am completely impressed that he managed to save up the money, find the vehicle, and make this happen. I am completely horrified by the cost of his insurance on a nearly 12 year old vehicle. While he’s had the benefit of working and living at home (without rent or any bills beyond his own cellphone plan) the reality is that he’s also made the decision to not buy random things or spend money on a lot of things that I suspect I would have used the money on when I was his age. He set this goal and has focused on it since he started working – and, well, now it’s happening. So, that’s super cool.
Youngest kid is well over six feet tall. He was always a big, tall kid – I remember people thinking he was 7 when he was actually only 4 (for real) – but the fact that he’s so ridiculous tall, now, still boggles my mind. This is really the only thing I have to say about him for the moment. He’s very, very tall.
Winter weather = the best time to sit in the hot tub and the worst time to try to get out of it afterwards. Last night we sat there with snow falling down on us and it was just beautiful. Also, soaking in hot water still gives me something close to narcolepsy. I’m trying to remember to brush my teeth ahead of time so I can just crawl under the covers as soon as I come back inside. This is probably the only thing I like about winter – well, that and the opportunity to wear more hoodies, more of the time.
The time shift is fucking with me. I could sleep all day and all night if it weren’t for that aforementioned ‘work’ thing and the fact that my beloved husband keeps waking me up in the morning so I won’t be late. It’s 7:45pm as I’m writing this, we haven’t had dinner yet, but I could easily crawl into bed and pass out. How long did it take me last year to get my enthusiasm for life back? Anyone remember? Or did it just stay away until spring returned? Wait. Has it returned at all yet?
Ugh, anyway. Ugh.
Sooooooooooo.. that’s about it for updates unless I’m forgetting something. Life goes on. Deeper thoughts will come later, perhaps.