Over and Over.

I just took 5 days off – but I timed it perfectly so that I had 8 days off (with one day of work tucked in the middle, sadly).  The nice thing was that there was a long weekend in the mix, so my beloved husband was home and we were able to hang out together and get some stuff done, too.

As usual, my time off was a mix – visiting with friends, a little trip out of town, catching up on housework (spring cleaning, sort of?), reading a bunch of books, a few naps – and other than a few chores that I didn’t manage to work up enthusiasm to do, I think I managed to accomplish most of what I had on my mental ‘to do’ list.

Once again I’m reminded that I have absolutely no work/life balance.  Once again I’m not sure what to do about it.

Also, I am currently holding some work-related grudges that I can’t quite seem to resolve and, during the time I was away, I didn’t spend any time dwelling on them.  Every time something popped into my head I just nope!‘d that thought right out again.

( Yeah. It occurs to me that maybe I should have spent some time pondering solutions, instead, but I was honestly just feeling good about life and didn’t want to interrupt it.)

At a meeting, someone asked me about one of the work-related grudges (without knowing anything about it – it was a casual, completely reasonable question) and, when I explained a bit of the situation, they looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Honestly, you should just quit.”  .. which.. jeez. They made that statement based on only the visible tip of the iceberg!

Look, I can’t afford to quit my job. I also really like a lot of things about my job – things I wouldn’t find elsewhere…

..except that it was recently pointed out to me that a lot of the things i say I love about my job are things that don’t really apply anymore.

I’ve gotten myself into a bit of a messy situation and, one assumes, I’m the only one who can get myself back out of it. I’m just not sure how to do it, exactly, without fucking myself over, or without fucking over some of the people who work with me.

Pretty sure this is the same post I’ve made repeatedly after every vacation I’ve taken from work. So, y’know, let’s not get our hopes up.

As my friend Jo used to say in their blog:  Patterns will repeat forevermore until you realize the common denominator is you

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