Category Archives: long thoughts

55 Million.

Published / by violet / 2 Comments on 55 Million.

The current lottery jackpot is 55 million dollars. This morning, over coffee, we discussed what we’d do if we won (alternating between practical “put most of it into a trust” and daydreaming a bit).

Coffee declared that we’d collect the money and immediately leave town for at least 2 weeks. This, apparently, will prevent people from asking us for money immediately.  I’m not sure about that, but I’ll take a 2 week vacation anyway. Where? I’m not sure yet.

After that, I’m buying a 2nd Mustang (a brand new one – the hundred thousand+ dollar version) for my ‘summer ride’ and doing a few upgrades to Louise as my daily driver.

We’re buying a ‘vacation home’ in Hamilton and oh, for the hell of it, a cottage up north somewhere vaguely remote.  And, of course, paying off our existing mortgage and car loans and whatnots.

I will buy some Fluevogs and get a lot of tattoos.

Coffee (with me in tow) will travel to a lot of running-related things – races in other cities and countries.  I am insisting on Japan and Iceland.

I will take some private lessons in all sorts of things that I want to learn. Private so that I can ask a lot of questions – starting with sewing lessons, I think.

There will be some sort of investment made – and, essentially, an ‘allowance’ given to us – so we’ll be financially secure for the rest of our lives. Coffee will quit his job. I will shift my job to being mostly a volunteer thing where I do only the things I want to do and none of the stuff I don’t.

I’d also like to create something that would benefit my clients in a really good way – maybe create some housing? – but I’m not positive what that would look like other than I suppose it would be about creating a charitable org.  This will take some thinking.

Anyway – I can’t wait.  It’s going to be great.


Published / by violet / Leave a Comment

I’ve been off of Facebook for the week – as I usually try to do when I take some vacation/time off from work – and I can’t say that I’ve missed any part of it other than the distraction it provides when I’m bored or in-between things.  This isn’t part of some big picture disconnect from social media; I’ll be right back on FB soon enough.

The break made me realized how much of my work had seeped into my social media, though I should have known –  I always get messages from people who want to set up presentations or ask me about media things or invite me to things or just ask my opinion.  And I love talking about my job, so getting the occasional message with that kind of content doesn’t bother me, generally.

But.. in my ‘spare time’, using social media, I’m also keeping the agency facebook pages going, trying to remember to use twitter sometimes, reading articles that are work-related (to subsequently post to the work pages), and trying to stay on top of the relevant issues.   So, it’s a post to my personal page about what I ate for dinner and then 5 posts for work.  My FB feed is full of posts from other agencies, groups, media, advocacy..  not to mention all of the friends I have who work with me, in some way, or in parallel ways (who are also posting related content!) I’m guilty of this too – there are plenty of times where I’ve messaged a coworker who I know rarely checks email/texts because I need info (or am curious about something) at 8pm.

So, taking a week off from FB was a pretty solid way to take a WEEK OFF from work. It seems a bit dramatic – but I tend to be all-in or all-out with a lot of difficulty finding space between. In everything. Not just work.  I’d like to be the sort of person who can compartmentalize (?) better but I literally don’t have the mental space to do it. If I’m not all-in on something, it pretty much doesn’t exist in my brain.

The week ahead is busy – I haven’t looked at my calendar (saving that for Sunday night! what a treat!) but I seem to remember a full day + evening on Monday, a full day + evening on Tuesday, something happening on Wednesday, a full day + van night on Thursday, and something happening on Friday.  (Here’s hoping I’m forgetting some big chunk of time where I can relax and catch up on things in a leisurely way – ha!)

First, though, 2 days left of .. whatever I feel like doing.

Secret Handshake Is Next.

Published / by violet / Leave a Comment

(If you’re tired of hearing about my car, just stop reading now.)

Two different Mustang drivers flashed me peace signs today while I was driving and, both times, I promptly burst into happy tears. Yes, okay, this may be a bit PMS-related, but it does confirm that the joy of driving Louise has absolutely not dissipated in the slightest. It’s like I’m in a gang!

I drove her to Hamilton this week and man, she is a huge fan of the highway. Not just the fact that we can drive really, really fast (ahem) but the wide open space with very little start-stop was good for both of us. Windows down, music up.

And downtown Hamilton, with all its ridiculous one-way streets, is always good for my soul. Familiar places with a lot of history attached..  plus Louise.  It was perfect. I stopped in for lunch at a place that my friend Hills has been recommending (to everyone, constantly) and wasn’t disappointed. I grabbed some Roma Pizza. I went to the beach and took a little walk down by the (very humid) waterfront. And I did my first semi-parallel park which was.. not smooth.. but not terrible, either.

Ah, Louise. Just lovely. I feel very lucky. Good times.

It’s September 3rd.

Published / by violet / 3 Comments on It’s September 3rd.

The middle child still lives at home – taking me up on an offer of one month at $100. Various things still included. I suspect he begrudges this, but recognizes the futility in complaining.

He did say that he no longer considers living in his truck to be an option. I suspect this is because his boss did not, in fact, think it was a great idea to have that happening on the business’ property, rather than him coming to the conclusion that living in a truck is a terrible plan.

He told us that mid-September he’s planning to rent a house with some friends. They have not yet found a house. They figure that the cost of renting a house is around $1,500 – but he had not given any thought to things like heat and hydro and water and internet.

That discussion ended with me sending him an itemized budget of “household costs” – mortgage (rent), heat, hydro, water, insurance, internet. And then there’s food. Divide the total by 4 or 5, the dollar figure is still pretty high. Definitely higher than $300/person.

(Also, that email ended with me sitting silently, staring at my computer screen, muttering to myself about how fucking expensive life is.  Hoooooooooly crap.)

At any rate, that’s where we sit as of today. Who knows what’ll happen in the next few weeks?

13 Days.

Published / by violet / 3 Comments on 13 Days.

In June, the middle child finished high school. A week later, give or take, he started working – he has no desire to add to his education (at this point, though of course the future is open). He has spent the summer rather aimlessly – not working full-time, coming and going as he pleases, playing video games, and occasionally hanging out with his younger brother.

He is 18, believes himself to be an adult in the truest sense, and has been mostly amenable to the rules of the house – though his only contribution is unloading the dishwasher in the morning (most of the time).  He shows up for some meals, is usually home by his curfew of 11pm (or follow the rule to let us know when he’ll be getting home).  He doesn’t tell us where he is, or what he’s doing, or who he’s with.

Our family rule has always been that you are either in school or you’re working + paying rent  – we’ve said it since the kids were little. So, yesterday we let the middle child know that he’d need to start paying rent as of September 1st. The rent is $300 – and covers his room, food (when he’s home for meals + whatever foods he lets us know he wants from the grocery store each week), laundry washed and dried, internet, water/heat/electric, parking space, use of family stuff (shampoo, playstation, whatever!).

Unbeknownst to him, the money would have been set aside for his future use. We don’t need him to contribute financially, but we do want him to start budgeting and thinking about his spending and his priorities. This is what adulthood looks like in the big picture.

Last night he started packing and declared that he intends to live in his truck for a few months. He thinks he can park it at work, that his boss will be okay with it, and when winter comes he’ll decide what he wants to do next. He noted that he has 13 days in which to make this decision.

It probably goes without saying that I think this is an absolutely ludicrous plan – and maybe that’s just because I highly value my creature comforts. I like my big, soft bed, and my air conditioning and my showers and my clean laundry and my fridge full of food. Perhaps I am soft.

Maybe I should have seen this coming – he did talk about living in his truck before he even bought it. Maybe he considers this an adventure.

Of all the responses to being asked to pay rent, this is not the one that I anticipated. I have made clear to him, I hope, that I think it’s a bad idea – but that he, ultimately, is an adult who needs to decide for himself what will make him happy.  I have made clear to him, I hope, that the goal here isn’t to shove him out of the house, either.

I suppose we’ll see what happens in the next 13 days.