Being human is hard work. It’s not without its joys and adventures and moments of pure, unadulterated bliss – but it’s fucking hard work. We all deal with loss and sadness and bullshit.By the time I hit adulthood, I don’t think I knew anyone who hadn’t been through something awful. We all do our best to make it through as unscathed as possible – and the universe kind of bounces us around. It is what it is.
That said, it is constantly amazing to me just how many different types of bullshit people manage to endure and just how many variations there can be on a theme. When I went through some hard times, I vividly recall people saying things like, “Gee, I don’t know how you do it.” and.. well, what’s the other fucking option? There isn’t one. You get up, you trudge through the day/week/month and then you reap the praise (ha) for having done it. And, over time, it gets better, hopefully.
Hey, this is uplifting! Why don’t we just go talk about boundaries. KEEP WITH THE GODDAMNED THEME, VIOLET. (That wasn’t the intended theme here. I didn’t meant to get stuck on that, but here we are. You’re the one choosing to read this.)
I’m drunk blogging.. so let’s see if I can keep this together in some coherent-ish way. I’m going to apologize for any typos, but I’m also not going to go back and proofread this (she says, as if she EVER goes back and proofreads – ha!).
(The best part of a Moscow Mule is the little pulpy bits of lime, btw. And I absolutely hate pulp, so make of that what you will. Holy shit, this is just going to be the longest nonsense blog post ever.)
The boundary thing is going just fine and dandy, since you asked. I have forewarned my (relevant) coworkers so they can drag me aside at some future date and say, “Hey, remember when you said you were going to be shuffling some boundaries? Yeah, TIME TO STOP.” I have also dragged those same coworkers into deeper discussions about boundaries. It’s been fun. No one leaves the room when I show up, yet, but it’s probably coming.
The flip side is more interesting right now. One of the guys who works with me is in a bit of a transition at the moment and has been trying to figure out his own boundaries. His situation is different – he’s one of those people who will literally give you the shirt off of his back in the middle of winter. And that was okay for him under different circumstances but he’s trying to change that.. which goes against everything in his soul, apparently.
I can literally, from across the room, feel his discomfort at trying to change this – even though, intellectually, he knows what he wants to do. It’s hilarious in the sense that I’m looking at him like, “Fuck no! Give NOTHING!” and I’m pretty sure he’s looking at me like, “Goddamn, Violet, give SOMETHING.”
It’s not quite that black-and-white, but it might as well be. Both appropriately protective of our reasons.
We will probably never discuss this in-depth. Ha. Uncomfortable!
I am rather enjoying observing the contrast. Actually, I prefer observing it because I can intellectualize it that way. Much better.
Stay in your head! Yes! I’m good with that!
The good news is that I get about 400 chances to toy with my boundaries every week, so I can keep practicing! Yay! I don’t think there’s really any other way to work it out.
I’m going to bed now. Apparently I just remembered that drinking makes me sleepy. Fuck, I’m old.
* Instead of the song the title is pulled from, you can listen to this one:
I absolutely love this song – and I had no idea they had released a 10 year anniversary live version. Lovely.